LIFE.. HERE I COME

yes. this is iris. remembering what she was like in the past and putting her self back together. absorbing every bit of information, learning from all her mistakes, no longer holding back, and willing to live the life she once left.
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April 28th, 2011

growing up.

I grew up with a family that runs and breathes business.. i grew up with very serious people around me, business meetings, proposals, politics…etc, I can’t even remember my mom talking about showbusiness or laughing her heart out (until later when she moved here in the US).. My mom can’t cook, I wasn’t allowed to cry very much, but then i again she never really forced me to do something i dont want (until now.).. My dad and I never really bonded it seemed like everything was business.. everything.. I grew up analyzing every single thing, i grew up (i would like to think) knowing the value of money. Karlo named me a chinese jew.. I don’t know where Im going with this..

but today, when i had the crash, it was ate apple’s brand new car… (NOT MY FAULT, SOMEONE SUDDENLY STOPPED ON THE FREEWAY) when it happened instantly i  calculated every single cent, insurance policies, implications, police report, damage, and all that and how costly it can be.. ate apple, kuya chase and ofcourse the ever so lovely tita imelda stay calmed, “that’s life, it happens”  I couldn’t believe that I was in a crash, i was so careful driving, speed limit, i look at all the mirrors and STILL A CRASH.. they calmed me down and shared some more horrid things/stories that could have happened.. that were should be just glad that we were all alive.. I couldn’t get over it, while every one was already laughing and making jokes about the incident, i couldn’t laugh.. Inside me was someone saying, how can you fuck up so bad?? could have it been prevented? why was that guy stopped?.. I was very different from them.. I want to be like them… someone who sees the silver lining, some one who can easily move on.. no matter what.. because after all.. “that’s life, things happen” and some of them.. they are just out of our control.

P.S

Kuya chase hit his head so bad because he forgot that the mirror was up and he was trying to put his head out.. it was really funny.. that’s my new memory of treasure island.. kuya chase hitting his head so hard he just had to say “aray”